I can finally relax a little with Gods help.

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pardtx0tx959tx1918tx2877tx3836tx4795tx5754tx6713tx7672tx8631f1fs20 Things have changed somewhat since I last posted. They had to or I was going to have a nervous breakdown.par
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First, one night I was helping Dakota study for a Geography test and I got frustrated because he couldnt answer some of the questions. Now, mind you they had been on this chapter for almost two weeks. "I dont know" was not the answers I was looking for. So that automatically made me mad.par
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The second thing was it was getting late. Daddy heard us arguing and had to seperate us. I loose my temper and just tell him, "I hope you pass your test cause I'm done trying to help you!!" I just go outside and let it go. I dont know how long I cried, but I just had to. I finally realized I had to turn it over to God.par
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Finally after a while Dakota comes out after Daddy has a long talk with him, and just sits beside me and apologizes. He doesnt really know what to say. I accept his apology. I got some more things off my chest and so did he. He told me some things that had been bothering him. It was a good talk. One thing I did tell him was, he will never know how I was feeling at that moment until he has kids of his own. He will hurt for them and only want whats best for them and try to help them. I told him, one of these days you'll thank me for it. Until then I had made up my mind what I was going to do.par

Ok, friends, dont faint and fall out when I say this, but, Im going to “loosen” one of my apron strings. Im going to let Dakota show me what he can do without my help. I want to see if any of my teaching on responsibility has sunk in. Lord help us all. Im tired, Im a nervous wreck, Ive had it, I give up.

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I actually got some sleep that night. I told Dakota that night I was backing off. Now he knows what to do. Lets just see if he can do it. He didnt pass his second Science test, so all I said was, “You know what you got to do, so pull it up.” He’ll do this by hisself or he’ll learn the hard way. The hard way in my house is usually spelled DADDY. Is this what they mean by tough love? I think its harder on me. Bless me. I hated to, but I just had to let go and back off. If he needs me, he knows where I am, if not, OK.

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I have come to realize one of the biggest mistakes I have made. I have set my expectations too high for my kids. I expected them to be perfect. Well, DUH, their not gonna be. There gonna forget things and probably not gonna make 100’s on every thing. Even when I homeschooled Dakota he didnt make 100’s on everything. Yep, he would get mad at me if I didnt let him change it, and nope I didnt give the answers until after it was graded and we went over it to see his mistakes.I need to lower my expectations so when they make mistakes, I want be so disappointed.

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My momma did expect the best out of me, and I let her down so many times. I was just trying to avoid these situations in my childrens lives. They will probably let me down too. But Ive learned sometimes the best education is experience and learn from your mistakes. Think about how God teaches us so much through experience and those are lessons not soon forgot!!!!par
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Hes going to be fine. I just have to accept the fact that he will goof up from time to time. But, I think I turned out pretty good myself thanks to my mom. I want my children to succeed in this world, I just dont want to send them into the world to learn. I just wish I could teach them everything myself.par
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Since I have done this, I have had peace, which was something I really was seeking and much needed. I have slept better at night. I just ask him does he have homework or a test to study for. Thats all.par

You know the old saying, “It goes in one ear and out the other?” Is there any way to stop up that “other” ear?

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I have however discovered two problems we need to work on:par

Ive realized why Dakota may be missing some information in class. He is use to being spoken to directly, one on one. Now, he has to learn that when the teacher is talking, she is talking to the whole class, she will not pull him aside and talk to him all on his own. He has to learn now to really listen. She also will not repeat it. I got this hint when he would come in and I would say, “What did the teacher say about this.” He would say, “She didnt tell me.” That was my clue. So, I have explained this to him. Now, we’ll see how it goes.

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Second, Dakota also has to learn better study habits. When we used Abeka, he never had to study for a test because they taught so simple and plain thatpar
even a 3rd grader could understand 6th grade stuff. Now he sees everypar
teacher is not the same and they have their own teaching styles. Somepar
are fast and some are so plain that they get it. He has learned how to take notes. He never was good at this. But, now he knows how. He has realized how much they help. He thinks studying is skimming through the chapter for about 20 minutes. He has to realize he has to know the definitions to the vocabulary words in any subject. That is where the questions come from.

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I think hes doing ok now. We got a C average in Science, I thought we were failing. Weve worked out some kinks, now we got the hang of it. Are we perfect, shoot no, have we made mistakes, you betcha, have we learned, OH YEAH! Do we still forget things UH YEP! But Im happy. Im relaxing at this moment. We got a C average in Geography. In his other classes hes got A’s and B’s. Im happy.par
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At one of our games, he got hurt. He was down crying and I ran to the sidelines to wait for the coaches words. He got up and he was holding his privates. I dont think hell be forgetting an important piece of equipment anymore. Can anybody say “CUP”. He was still hurting that night when he went to bed. Of all his yrs of playing baseball and football he has never forgot that, until last night.par

I have been so busy focusing on the negative of Dakota being in the public school, that I forgot the one good positive and the most important. He has been able to get alot of his friends to come to church. They come on Wed. night, and some have even gotten their parents to come on Sunday mornings. Now thats my boy!

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I really miss going through school with Dakota and learning all over again. But I have found alot of his text books online or the teacher has given me a cd with the book on it. Im going back and learning all my general maths and Algebra (which I never got the hang of and flunked). Cant wait to see my first report card. Ha!

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One night we actually got to relax because a game got canceled and there was no practice because the field was covered in mounds of fireants. So Dakota got home early and got his homework done. Then he played with his brother, which had been long overdue. We were not rushed to go anywhere or do homework or go to bed. Were they getting loud, were they running in the house (which we dont normaly let them do), did it sound like a tornado going through my house, YEP!!!! and I loved it. Then we watched Monday night wrestling like we use to do.

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One Saturday me and another kid from school are taking a hunters safety course so we can get our hunting license. Deer, beware. My buck may turn out to be the biggest on the wall now.I have to beat Dakotas 10 pt.

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One morning at 1:30 am Dallas is in my room, standing over me, lightly poking me, and saying, “Mom, I had a bad dream.” Me, “And why do you feel like you have to wake me up and tell me at 1:30 am?” Dallas, “Cause, it makes me feel more comfortable when you walk back to my room and tuck me in.” Who can resist that?

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Dallas is doing great in school, his reading has improved. I am so proud of him. Am I hard on him, you betcha. If he decides hes gonna go to public school someday he’ll be ready.par
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Tonight we have homecoming. Dakota is escorting his girlfriend who got homecoming Queen for the 7th grade. I will video tape all and the game. I hope they are pepped up. They have their pep rally today at 1pm. Hes so excited, he gets to miss a few classes to practice for the homecoming court. LOL. He almost got Class Favorite. His best friend beat him by one vote. He was ok with that.par
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Sorry, I didnt have any pictures this time. I will take some tonight and post next week.par
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Thanks for all your prayers and words of encouragement. This too shall pass.par
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About 4dfarms

I am a wife to an amazingly dedicated, devoted, and loyal husband whom God sent to me. I am a mother to two wonderful boys to whom I'd give my life for. Around here we have homeschooled, we farm, garden, hunt, fish and anything else we want to do. Although I do have Rheumatoid Arthritis. Sometimes its hard for me to keep up. If it was not for my husband and two boys, I could not do some of what I do. They really do help me alot. We work together as a team in my home. We try our best to train up our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Yea, they slip sometimes and correction has to be made. Thats life. I want so badly to be just like the Proverbs 31 woman. My grandmother did an awesome job of it and Id like to fill her shoes.
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4 Responses to I can finally relax a little with Gods help.

  1. Hi! Much of your post could be about my son and I. I had to realize school wasn’t about him performing for and pleasing me, but about me discipling him with God’s love and training him to function in the world when he gets grown. I lost a lot of anxiety after I let go and realized that.
    Have a great weekend!
    Melanie

    Like

  2. Tracy Dixon says:

    You took the words right out of my mouth that I had been trying to say in a short way. Thanks, I needed that.

    Like

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